Yearning to live an improved quality of life by welcoming more joy, love and spirit -- how then -- can I suddenly and almost out of nowhere, be hit with a ton of bricks as one or more individuals toss a load of anger and (simply put) crap your way? Anger, arguments, blame .... you're left with a, "What the hell was that?" and "Where did that come from?"
Feelings of disappointment and self blame overwhelm you. I know it did for me. In my journey, I was guided to make dramatic life changes. Old habits were no longer serving me and new habits helped me realize a fuller life.
My desire for a deeper meaning in my life was soulful and divinely inspired. I read books, studied, meditated, and removed ego as much as possible so that I could simply follow my gut instinct and intuition. Doing so, I see now, was welcoming Spirit to guide me. Doing so, I see now, also lead me to an energy shift.
I was reading and listening to a series of books by Esther and Jerry Hicks. I was completely taken by the connection of emotion and thoughts and energy. The idea is simple: what you think and feel are exactly how you are living your life. Difficult experiences in the present are a result of past negative thoughts and emotions. If you don't like what you are experiencing change what you are thinking and feeling. So I did.
NEVER did I think that I would also invite some of the backlash I got from individuals. You see, when my energy was lower, I naturally invited equal or lesser energy around me through individuals and/or experiences. By focusing every detail in my life to simply act and think in a way that feels good and/or better, it all changed. I experienced an energy shift.
How did that invite the backlash? I was putting out a different kind of energy that in essence vibrated at a higher frequency (something every single one of us is capable of doing). By doing so, others who were comfortable with you before the shift suddenly feel uncomfortable. If they are not doing the same kind of energy work you are doing, they may not even realize what is stirring up in them. I know this because I have been on that side of the fence, too.
Last winter, I was saddened by one such person whom I thought would be a friend. In my interaction with them, I chose to focus on loving thoughts and words keeping all that I had learned with me. I knew old habits and my strong personality were not going to serve me. I stayed true to myself and trusted my gut and let my ego go crazy in silence. (Looking back, the battle within me was comical. I spoke from my heart chakra, but my brain and mind and ego were just as bad ass as P.G. County Maryland trained me -- thankfully, the heart chakra won).
Desire to do well and be better takes up as much energy as staying angry and feeling miserable. I made the decision to find the love and stay on my path. It felt good and I wasn't hurting anyone in the process. In fact, I invited new relationships that were more on par with where I was headed. By choosing to find a way to feel love for those that "threw stones" at me, I was able to find compassion for them and I let it go.
I LOVE IT when I get a sign letting me know I'm on the right path. As I came to this conclusion through my meditation, I received a sign the next day. I had a dentist appointment and the dental hygienist (who also studies the law of attraction and we enjoy sharing our insights together) happen to share with me another author whom she found enlightening, Michael Bernard Beckwith. I have never read his material, but at that moment I recalled him from the movie, "The Secret" and an interview he did shortly after the success of the movie. A woman asked him why she was experiencing so much jealousy amongst her friends where she thought she would find support from the success she experienced as she incorporated ideas and actions in line with the Law of Attraction. His response, "Mediocrity always attacks excellence." BINGO.
I saw this quoted again this week and it made me think of my clients and friends who are having similar experiences. Let me be clear in that I don't view anyone with ill feelings. We are all traveling through life at different speeds. That's all. No one way is better than another. In fact, I find confirmations all around me that choosing love is always the best route. If people move away from you, let that natural filtering process happen. Doing so for me allowed other relationships to deepen and grow. Let life's natural filter work for you. It will open doors rather than have you bang your head up against one.
If you are interested in purchasing the book collection I have by Esther and Jerry Hicks, you can do so by this link: